INNER SEARCH ENGINE
What could you discover if you did a search on yourself using your inner search engine? The process of an inner search or introspection has many names including soul search, self reflection, self contemplation, and self examination to name a few. I think self reflection is one of the more common terms used for this process even though many would avoid conscious participation.
Being able to self-reflect I understand is a uniquely human ability. Within the capacity of the human mind is the capacity to become consciously aware of self. Becoming aware of our self reflection can occur for you during times of random mental quietness and can lead to some level of inner contentment or inner conflict. The conscious mind seems to be largely busy or distracted by time, tasks and things which can blind you to other important components of life.
Even though we are preoccupied with the content of the conscious mind much of our lives the unconscious mind contains a rich record of all that has happened in our short journey of life. Many either don’t see any value in the content of the unconscious mind or you are trying hard to out-run the emotional record of your past life experiences by purposefully being so busy that you are sure your past will never find or confront you. Unfortunately, for many of you, past life experiences or trauma can catch up with you, and it can become increasingly difficult to ignore.
If you wanted to change your strategy from trying to ignore or out-run the discomfort of past experiences and decided to address your past, how would you do that?
Let me lay out a few practical ideas on how you can promote self reflection. Firstly, self reflection occurs more naturally during times of mental quietness. When you decide you are ready to take responsibility and address a personal issue you will need to address the distractions of a busy world by intentionally creating quiet intervals for self reflection and growth in self awareness. Quietness may have been the very thing you have struggled to avoid in the past but if you are ready for a richer experience of life quietness will need to become your friend.
Secondly, quietening your environment and mind is not about creating opportunities for self criticism and self condemnation. You know the pain and torment of self condemnation and it is for this reason you have kept busy and avoided slowing down in the past. Quietening your mind is for creating space to reflect on your journey of life and enable you to make an honest evaluation of how your life is turning out. For example considering your conduct in a relationship will either lead to a level of contentment or disappointment about your behaviour. Even though disappointment may be uncomfortable if it is experienced in the frame work of honest appraisal good feeling through improved relationships can be a result.
Thirdly, you will also find it helpful to quieten your body. Just because you now have the courage to self reflect and have decided to stop doesn’t mean your body is ready. If you have always charged around at a frantic pace for years stopping will take a concerted effort to avoid initial disappointment. When you wish to slow the processes speed of your mind you will need to find a way to slow your body down. A great way to help you body to slow down is to slow your breathing. This is achieved by developing a longer, slower, deeper rhythm of breathes that allows your heart rate to slow and therefore give you a greater level of mastery over your physical self. Without some knowledge of the importance of the breath and breathing skills your journey of self reflection may be somewhat limited.
Fourthly, self reflection can have a huge impact on the honesty experienced in life and relationships. When we are not normally self reflective and don’t receive or listen to feedback about our behaviour it is possible to experience delusion. Delusion is the result of being disconnected from a helpful framework of reality. Delusion can be a severe mental illness however it can also be subtly evident in people lives in the form of self deception or self avoidance. Self reflection is a great way to avoid self deception which has a fatal affect on relationships with self and others.
ACTIVITY: Try an introductory self reflection today by planning a time to be quiet, by creating a space to be quiet in, by breathing more deeply to quieten your body and in the quiet of this space, ask yourself how you are feel today? Tune quietly into yourself and wait for an answer. Whatever the answer accept the feeling as the truth without judgement or condemnation. It is important that this exercise lead you to self acceptance and not self condemnation. Much more on this topic is explained in detail in the “Head Right Therapy Package”.
I encourage you to embrace and trust your inner search engine to guide you to knowledge and experience of a more honest and potentially authentic life.....
-Greg Gardiner
