Dealing with your Negative Self-talk

Have you noticed how easy it is to be critical of yourself and others?

Do you find it easy to find fault and be critical of people? One indicator of low self worth is being very critical of yourself and being sensitive or over reactive toward others. However, on the opposite extreme you may seek to find life happiness by stressing over a friend’s needs for happiness at the expense of your own.

There is nothing wrong with doing stuff to make people happy but it can be helpful to understand that obsessing over a friends needs while we have similar needs could be triggered by your own poor self worth. Self worth is created from the quality of your relationships. You live in relationships internally with yourself and externally with others.

Your self worth scans like a sonar to gather information about the world around you. When you are treated in ways that are positive, the sonar of your self worth communicates good and positive messages to your inner being. When you are treated poorly by people, your sonar of your self worth interprets that experience and will influence you to think poorly about yourself.

"If life “sucks” for you right now, it does not mean that you suck personally."

When you experience negative crushing thoughts, treat them like anyone who is annoying you and speak to the thoughts and tell them to be quiet. This is a recognised strategy called thought stopping and you can successfully resist destructive thoughts and cause them to stop.

Gardiner, G. J. (2016). Teenage Voyage of Self Discovery (1st ed.). (Original work published 2001). Retrieved from https://getyourheadright.com.au/blog/.

"When you want to build your self esteem and you are ready to resist some of the
negative things happening in your life one of the first things you need to contend with is your own inner thought life. Start by repeating the positive self statements you created in the first activity."